I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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