I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
