Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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