Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
