I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize