If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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