i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
