woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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