Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
