we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
