Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
