Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
