i barfeds in our rink
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
