I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
