I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my phone needs a breathalizer
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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