Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize