put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
