Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
