At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
