my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We left the knife in your bed.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
