we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
