You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
why is half of my head shaved?
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