Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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