I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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