Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sext me about skeletons
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize