i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
