chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
