dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
