From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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