some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
cat food counts as protein by the way
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
