My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
