she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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