I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
