Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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