Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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