I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
