I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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