just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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