In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
