Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
