so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize