i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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