It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
