if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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