that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
