..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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