how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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