Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
