So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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