Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
