Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
