I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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