On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
