clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
