You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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