I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
