I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
