who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
