Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize