He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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