you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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