My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
