I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She said her name was "party"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
