sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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