Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
