I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
