What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize