she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
