Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
