did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
